It’s ok to be human

My daughter has a new favorite book. It’s called “The Okay book.” 🙂

This book puts words to being unique and different. It normalizes being human in kid language. I love it so much. The first few pages go like this:

I’m 33 now and it’s taken me awhile to learn many of these things.

And, there’s so many more things that are ok too! Things the world tells you to avoid, run from, or try and fix.

I’ve tried hard over the course of my life to change different parts of me that I didn’t believe were “ok.” In my late teens and early 20’s, I tried so many attempts to look and be like who I “should.” As a young adult trying to find my way in the world — in friendships, motherhood, in my career — I often shunned myself for “getting it wrong.”

Oh, the lessons I’ve learned along the way! The freedom and joy that comes when we let go of these dreadful expectations! When we accept the beauty of imperfection, and learn to embrace God’s grace to fill the places where we fall short.

I’ve learned that the way out of the striving is not more striving and comparing. It’s not in the fixing or grasping for control. It’s not in the pleasing or performing. You can’t find all the answers in your self-help books. Trust me, I’ve tried it all, and it only leaves you longing for more.

What does work is knowing and believing that whatever it is, it’s ok.

Whatever the screw up, whatever the mistake, whatever the awkward moment, whatever the embarrassment, whatever the bad hair day, it is ok.

The grown-up Okay book addendum

So, for us grown-up’s, I’ve made an addendum to my daughter’s Okay book. This addendum is for all of us parents, adults, and fellow journeyers seeking to live at peace with our humanity, and be a little more kinder to ourselves and others.

If you’re wondering, yes, I have first-hand experience that with all of these things, it will be ok. 🙂

(for us adults) It’s ok to…

It’s ok to dance in the rain and trek mud all over the house on your way to the shower.

It’s ok to go hard and it’s okay to take breaks. You don’t have to be excelling at everything, all the time.

It’s ok to stumble. Whether it be with your words in a conversation, a decision you make, or during an actual performance. It’s ok to wobble your way through parts of life, giving what you have in each moment.

It’s ok to let others in and see who you really are. It’s okay to let down your walls, to take off the mask. It’s also ok to not know how to do this. There’s no right or wrong way, no “perfect” way to be seen.

It’s ok to just show up.

It’s ok when others don’t like you.

It’s ok to be misunderstood.

It’s ok for people to have their own opinions of you. You’re not responsible for changing them. You also don’t need to.

It’s ok if you don’t always like how things are going. No one ever does, all the time.

It’s ok to go big. It’s ok to be bold. It’s ok to live fully and take big steps.

It’s ok if you don’t win the award, if you’re not the best.

It’s ok to celebrate the successes of others. The spotlight, afterall, isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes, living life on the sidelines gives you more of what you really want.

It’s ok to rest where you are and celebrate your own personal victories. You are seen by the people closest to you, and that’s enough.

It’s ok to take sick days.

It’s ok to order the burger and fries.

It’s ok to order a salad.

It’s ok to eat eggs every night for dinner because you don’t have the energy to cook anything else.

It’s ok to say no.

It’s ok to say yes.

It’s ok to say “I’m not sure yet, let me think on this right now.”

It’s ok to wait. Usually, things don’t need to be decided on right away.

It’s ok to make a decision and then change your mind.

It’s okay to be sad and not know quite why.

It’s ok let other people wipe away your tears and hold you tight.

it’s ok if you cry in front of your boss. It’s ok to cry in front of your kid. It’s ok to cry in front of the daycare worker because the separation anxiety just feels too hard for the both of you.

It’s okay to feel angry and let it out.

it’s ok to let out your anger imperfectly…to say things you didn’t really mean, and apologize later to anyone you’ve hurt.

It’s ok to fear, it’s okay to have doubts.

It’s ok to grieve and feel pain for what you loose.

It’s ok be so happy you can’t contain yourself. It’s okay to squeal really loud even if others look at you oddly.

It’s ok to feel your joy for as long as you’d like without fearing it will be taken away.

It’s ok to love.

It’s ok to dream.

It’s ok too, if your dreams don’t always come true.

It’s ok if things don’t always go the way you planned.

It’s ok to let go of expectations… they usually just weigh you down.

It’s ok to be human.

It’s ok to just be, right where you are.

❤️